My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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