big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
