You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
