Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
