i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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