The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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