Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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