from now on my penis is your penis
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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