we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
