If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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