Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there's paper in my vomit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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