I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
