STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
