When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
