i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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