everyone is single if you try hard enough
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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