apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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