This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
