Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
