im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
