Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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