Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
