the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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