For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
50% drunk capacity currently
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
