he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
