I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
