We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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