I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
