Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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