so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
