I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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