I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
