Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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