haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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