...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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