i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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