I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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