i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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