I didn't shave. On purpose
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
