$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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