I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize