i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
