Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
