Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
