I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
