I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize