I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
