hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.