Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard