she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going