i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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