Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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