i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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