i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
