Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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