its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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