I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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