She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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