I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
