Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
