Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
