ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
