I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
